THINGS I HAVE YET TO MISS ABOUT 2011: Nothing. Nuts to you, last year.

THINGS I DON’T MISS ABOUT SUMMER: Sweating so much that I think I lost about 15 lb. of water weight each day, the smell of the streets the night before garbage pick-up, sandal blisters, the constant threat of sunburns, the stickiness, the temperature of my room at night, seeing the underside of way too much unfortunate ass in hideously tiny shorts, and working in an office that was about -20 for 8 hours a day, only to step outside into the 40°C heat and immediately burst into flames.

WHAT I DO MISS: The nice heat, the sun, the constant need to drink beer outside, and the picture above. Oh, and the excuse to wear really low-cut tops without feeling too ho’ed up. I mean, a little ho’ed up, but I feel like the rules were extended a bit (yes, this is hypocritical in light of me railing against seeing butt underside in the previous point, but hear me out: it’s way easier to pull off nice cleavage than it is tiny shorts that look so far rammed up your ass that I’m pretty sure you can taste them. While the ratio of nice > oh no ass in Toronto is pretty solid, there’s still days where I want to grab people and scream, “YOU’RE 15. PLEASE PUT SOMETHING A LITTLE LONGER ON. I FEEL LIKE STANDING NEXT TO YOU IN LINE IS GOING TO PUT ME ON SOME HORRIBLE WATCH LIST.”)